This is posted on the facebook info page. I thought I would post it here since I had to take some out in the summary here.
I have hope. Although my confidence is here one second and gone the next at the moment, I have hope. I know that I can pull through this and help someone else. After receiving a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing and in Psychology, I will continue to obtain a Master's Degree. I made it out still making amazing grades in school. Somehow I've done it. I think this is why. I have hope, and one day I want to pass that hope to someone else. If anything, I just want to document my eventual success, no matter how long it takes. It will give someone hope that wasn't available to me when I needed it.
Although every type of abuse will be dealt with for the rest of a victim's life, scars from verbal and emotional abuse do not heal. Some of us stay in these relationships until we reach the end of our lives and some of us leave. Whether we stay or leave, we all suffer with feelings of worthlessness, self esteem that just can't be faked, and may find it difficult to see the future with an optimistic attitude ever again. It is this serious. We are NOT weak. We are NOT stupid. We are aware of what we are going through, but have been made to think we are crazy, stupid, and weak. We have lived through intense psychological battering and are trying to rise above so that we never face it again. We don't have to because we have each other.
We are a group of women that not many know about, and that has to change. There is far too little assistance for women that do not show their scars on the outside. There are private forums online that can be hacked into by abusers, no matter how secure they claim to be. We risk getting hurt, in every way, every time we decide we need to talk to someone. We may not be able to talk on the phone, in person, in our houses, or online because he's watching our every move.
We may whisper while we're in these relationships, but we're going to shout now that we're out!
We're going to raise awareness and call everyone to action. Eventually, we're going to raise funds to help women and children escape these homes. It does not matter if the abuse you are experiencing shows on the outside or not. If there is any abuse, you deserve help immediately. I hope that someday it becomes available. It's my dream.
I grew up a victim of domestic abuse and I know the scars it can leave. I recently wrote a book about it. I think you CAN survive and become stronger for it...it just takes time to heal and time to figure out who you are. But it never ceases to amaze me the damage one person can do to another, emotionally, over time. I'm so glad you got out...I got out too. It reminds me of that Amy Grant song that really struck me when I was a kid...something about "How do I know there's a God in Heaven, where did he go in the middle of my pain..." In the end she says it was God's mercy that let her have the freedom she has now. He got her out.
ReplyDeleteTo me, the hardest part of healing is actually allowing yourself the time that is necessary. I also believe you can survive and become stronger because of it. I believe that it led me to my career choice and will help me throughout life. I would not have the insight that I do because of it. I lost a lot, but I know that all of it can be built, even stronger, over the years. I think that I gained more than I lost. If other women can do the same thing, we can all heal.
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