Speak up, your words may mean nothing to you, but they could save another woman see the truth.

This is posted on the facebook info page. I thought I would post it here since I had to take some out in the summary here.

I have hope. Although my confidence is here one second and gone the next at the moment, I have hope. I know that I can pull through this and help someone else. After receiving a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing and in Psychology, I will continue to obtain a Master's Degree. I made it out still making amazing grades in school. Somehow I've done it. I think this is why. I have hope, and one day I want to pass that hope to someone else. If anything, I just want to document my eventual success, no matter how long it takes. It will give someone hope that wasn't available to me when I needed it.

Although every type of abuse will be dealt with for the rest of a victim's life, scars from verbal and emotional abuse do not heal. Some of us stay in these relationships until we reach the end of our lives and some of us leave. Whether we stay or leave, we all suffer with feelings of worthlessness, self esteem that just can't be faked, and may find it difficult to see the future with an optimistic attitude ever again. It is this serious. We are NOT weak. We are NOT stupid. We are aware of what we are going through, but have been made to think we are crazy, stupid, and weak. We have lived through intense psychological battering and are trying to rise above so that we never face it again. We don't have to because we have each other.

We are a group of women that not many know about, and that has to change. There is far too little assistance for women that do not show their scars on the outside. There are private forums online that can be hacked into by abusers, no matter how secure they claim to be. We risk getting hurt, in every way, every time we decide we need to talk to someone. We may not be able to talk on the phone, in person, in our houses, or online because he's watching our every move.

We may whisper while we're in these relationships, but we're going to shout now that we're out!

We're going to raise awareness and call everyone to action. Eventually, we're going to raise funds to help women and children escape these homes. It does not matter if the abuse you are experiencing shows on the outside or not. If there is any abuse, you deserve help immediately. I hope that someday it becomes available. It's my dream.

Healing lasts a lifetime..

..and it's hard to convince yourself every minute that you are worth the life you're trying to build. This blog will be completely up and running daily as a way to express myself and hopefully be found someday by someone that needs it.

I have been away for 20 days now and every time I think I'm okay, I discover that I'm not. I know through the research I did for a paper in my Psych class last semester, that this will last my whole lifetime. Studies show that women who have suffered this kind of abuse never fully recover. There are a variety of factors that make this true. There is no support for us, people don't take it seriously because they can't see the damage, and we have no self worth. Having no self worth makes us feel like we don't need or deserve help. Some days I wish that he had stuck with the physical abuse so that I could heal the wounds. He only did that a few times.

There will be updates, as well as stories that I have written the past few years, posted when another day comes that I feel capable of it. Currently, I'm trying to do school work and am completely uninterested.